Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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