Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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