Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
