apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he quoted the bible to break up with me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
