Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
