do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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