shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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