Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
