the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
