no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I understand Curling. That high.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
