i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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