Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she looked like the before picture.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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