the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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