Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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