doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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