babies were throwing up all over the place
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
