his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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