a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
