I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
