my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
