you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
