Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
