god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
