Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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