My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
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