he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize