I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
