so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
