I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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