She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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