fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
