She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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