i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
