JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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