your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
