So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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