im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
