Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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