Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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