i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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