How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
