There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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