you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
