I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize