Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Randomize
