i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
