Well douche your snatch and let's go!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just found puke in my bra..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
