Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
