her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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