I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize