Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
