Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
