we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
