He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
