I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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