...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
