ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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