I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
BRING THE BAGELS
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize