did you get engaged???
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
