cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
