are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
