i think my mom watched the whole time
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
