Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
