He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
