I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
